January 2009
1 post
I Fucking Rule
Yeah, motherfuckers, yeah. Bow down to me.
My jism is made of gold.
May 2008
11 posts
How About Season 3, Episode 7 of Silver Spoons?
a book all about.. ONE episode of a tv show. Submitted by Stacey Fitzgerald
Keep Sending Them In, Folks
My Life as the Assistant Manager of a Boston-Area Subway Franchise: A Memoir Here is an excerpt: What are your goals? What do you hope to ultimately achieve in life? I work at a subway sandwich shop as an assistant manager. This is because I couldn’t afford to go to college. I wanted to go to culinary school and applied to the Culinary Institute of America, which is the best cooking school...
This Would Either Make a Great Children's Book or...
Bitch Ate My Compost A whimsical post-modern fairy-tale about a goat and his goat wife living under the staircase in an upscale manhattan restaurant. Things get hairy when the compost bin turns up mysteriously empty. Hilarity ensues. Submitted by Richard Knapp
The First Reader-Submitted Idea
i can haz a literate pussy readers take pictures of their vaginas and send them in anonymously and you add literary quotations in bubble captions. a sure crowd pleaser. Courtesy of Cajun Boy in the City
Sightings of Björk in NYC Wherein She Acts Like a...
A four-volume tome cross-referenced by neighborhood (the West Village!! The Meatpacking District!!) in which everybody’s formerly favorite Icelandic alternative act that we’re all now totally bored with acts bizarrely. As re-told by New Yorkers such as yourself. Have you ever seen the former Sugarcubes frontwoman singing the alphabet backwards in Swahili at the Miracle Grill? Come...
Three Normal Middle-Class Guys Who Think They're...
This one is more of a reality show idea (so really, any kind of deal involving useless entertainment is fine with me). It’ll follow around the titular subjects while they lounge around in their Murray Hill living room on Saturday afternoons watching Planet of the Apes on TBS and discussing how R.E.M. just isn’t as good as they used to be. It’ll also show them at work wearing...
That Slovakian Kid I Used to Beat Up in Grade...
This one is kind of self-explanatory. Another rip-off of Stuff White People Like. But with far less relevant social commentary. Send in your stories, people.
Photos of Aborted Fetuses
Everybody loves a good coffee table book. This one will be perfect for poring over with your friends in your all-white modernist West Village apartment after a swanky meal at the Spotted Pig. Send in your photos, and I’ll post them. After we get about 50 or so, that ought to be enough to make a book with. And then the book deal will come immediately. I can just feel it.
Idea #1
The Funniest Genocide Jokes Know of a good one about the Holocaust or Darfur? Email it in, and I’ll post it. Once I get enough of them, I should have a book deal lickety-split.
Here's the skinny
In light of Tumblr sites and blogs like Stuff White People Like and Postcards From Yo Momma getting book deals for creating mildly funny content or by having people just email stuff in, I’ve decided to follow suit. Basically, I want to retire and be rich without really doing anything. Give me a book deal. I’m poor, and I haven’t taken a vacation in over a year. If you work at a...